Beans
by progmom
Summary: A Niles and Daphne story set about 3.5 years after the final episode of Frasier. Daphne has some unusual symptoms that lead to big changes for her family. (I haven’t given her some horrible disease, don’t worry!) Rated T for suggestive content.
1. Poorly

Niles blinked, startled, and found himself alone in bed. He sat up and tried to remember the dream that had woke him. He jumped up, hearing the horrible noise again, coming from the en suite. "Bloody hell, it wasn't a dream," he said, fishing for his glasses on the nightstand. He knocked them to the floor. "Damnit!"

A moment later, Niles stood in the doorway of the en suite, looking at a blurry Daphne on the floor next to the toilet. "Oh Darling, are you all right?"

"Yeah, bloody fabulous, thanks."

Niles was stunned. "Daphne, I -- a-are you crying?" Niles knelt down as Daphne put trembling arms round his neck. He stifled a dry heave as he caught a whiff of her breath. "Shhhh, shhhh, it's okay My Love. You just ate too many oysters." He helped her to stand up, supporting her as he took a face cloth from the basket and wet it with tepid water. "There, there," he said, gently wiping her face. "What can I do for you?"

"I don't know," she said, like a pitiful child.

"Shall I help you to bed and get some fizzy water? Maybe some Saltine crackers?"

She looked at him, furrowing her brow. "What I really want is fish and chips. With lots of vinegar and mushy peas," she said.

"Are you delirious?" Niles asked.

"You know, the best chippy in Manchester is this little hole in the wall near where my Uncle Trevor lives. It was the best thing about going to see him. Mind you, the rudest people worked in there. Always the same owner and someone different doing the cooking. We always thought it was a requirement to work there, being unfriendly. Simon applied and got turned down, and we said it was because --"

"Darling?"

"Well, anyway, I would do anything for a spot of fish and chips from that place."

Niles had helped her back to bed and was settling in himself as she finished her story. He smiled at her, squinting slightly.

"Where are your glasses?"

"Oh, I knocked them off the nightstand. I'll find them in the morning. How's your tummy now?"

"Much better now, thanks to you." Daphne laid her head on Niles's chest, draping an arm over his middle.

"Me? What did I do?"

Daphne mumbled incoherently and then snored softly. Niles chuckled as he stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head. "I love you too," he whispered.

"Hi Daddy," said David, as Niles entered the Montana.

"Hello, Monster!" Niles lifted his squealing son high into the air. "I am so happy to see you!"

"How was work?" asked the three year old.

Niles grinned, stifling laughter. "Well, you know, patients, support groups, phone calls, the usual."

"Yeah, usal," David nodded in agreement.

Niles kissed his cheek and set him down on the sofa. "Whatever you're cooking smells amazing," he shouted toward the kitchen. "I've got a lovely bottle of Zinfandel that I thought would go nicely with the rest of that chocolate cake." He lowered his voice as he approached the kitchen door. "Maybe I can eat it off y-- Ronnie?"

"Is that any way to talk to your own mother, Niles?"

"Uhh... I..."

Ronnie laughed and kissed his bright red cheek. "Your dad's on that fishing trip, so I came by to see Daphne and David, and Daphne seemed so tired and out of sorts, so I told her to go lie down and let me handle dinner."

"Oh, I better go check on her. Has David been--"

"Just perfect. He's at the funniest age now. We have the best conversations!"

Niles beamed. "He is perfect, isn't he?"

Niles found his wife sleeping peacefully in their bed. He removed his coat, tie, and shoes, and slid in next to her. As he brushed her hair away from her face, her eyes fluttered open. "Hi," she whispered. He leant forward to kiss her nose. "Hi," he smiled warmly.

Daphne sat up. "What time is it?"

"Just after six, when I usually get home on a Thursday."

"Good God, I've been asleep for nearly three hours!"

"Well, you deserved it, Darling. David hasn't been sleeping all that well lately. Must be another growth spurt--"

"But I never do this. I can always cope with it. And all I feel like doing now is going back to sleep."

"You know, the other night when we thought you had food poisoning, maybe you were coming down with something."

"But I've been fine up until now. What's wrong with me?"

Niles pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her as she found comfort in the smell of his chest. "I wouldn't worry about it Darling. You do usually cope well with sleep deprivation, but it always catches up with you at some point, and this is just that point."

"All right, I won't worry... Thank you, Dr Crane," she said huskily, as she slid a hand into his shirt and rubbed his chest in a circular motion.

Niles closed his eyes and sighed happily. "Are you... regaining your strength?"

"Mm-hmmm." Daphne began unbuttoning Niles's shirt.

"Uh, you do know we... um... we have a guest... downstairs," said Niles, fighting all his body's natural reactions.

"Oh, I'll be quick." She unzipped his trousers and began unbuckling his belt.

Niles couldn't hold back anymore. "Well, if it's a quick one..." He took her face in his hands and pulled it up to his, kissing her deeply as he lifted her shirt to remove it.


	2. Diagnosis

Niles and Daphne struggled to keep from giggling as they descended the stairs. They had been quick indeed, but it was fast and furious.

"I am Hank Marvin," Daphne declared as she sat down at the dining table.

"And I am Aretha Franklin," said Niles. "Can David be Shirley Temple?"

Daphne laughed. "It's rhyming slang," she explained. "I'm _starving."_

"Isn't it easier just to say, 'I'm starving'?" asked Ronnie.

"It's no use trying. It doesn't make any sense, and she thinks we're crazy because we don't get it," said Niles.

"I don't think you're crazy," said Daphne through a mouthful of food. "You're just American."

"In your mind, is there a difference?" asked Ronnie.

Daphne laughed. "A little crazy isn't necessarily a bad thing." She raised an eyebrow at Niles, who turned his red face toward his son.

"Are you enjoying your dinner David?"

David picked up a pea with his fingers, put it in his mouth, and nodded.

"Daphne, um, can I get you more of anything?" Ronnie asked.

Daphne's eyes grew wide as she realised how quickly she had eaten. "Oh my God. How rude of me. I guess I really was starving."

Ronnie laughed. "It's all right, honey. I'm just glad you're enjoying it."

"Darling, did you pick up my suits?" Niles asked.

"Suits? What suits?" Daphne asked, spooning more food onto her plate.

"From the dry cleaner's."

Daphne looked blankly at Niles.

"I said that in English, right?" Said Niles.

"Thursday... bollocks!" Said Daphne.

"Bowocks!" Said David.

"I'm so sorry!" Said Daphne.

"Darling, you been going to the dry cleaner's every Thursday for a year."

Daphne began to sob.

"Mommy, what's wrong?"

Niles rubbed her back. "It's okay, I'm not angry. Daphne, it's all right."

Daphne laid her head on Niles's shoulder and sobbed. "I'm sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me. I went to the supermarket and only bought half of what I needed. And when I got in the car, I came home without running any of my other errands."

"Darling, it's okay, the errands can be run another day."

"Oh Niles, I just remembered something else... I left the groceries in the car!" Daphne wailed.

Niles kept trying to comfort and console her to no avail. Suddenly, Ronnie laughed. The couple looked at her, mouths gaping.

"Oh, Daphne... you're pregnant!"

"Pregnant?" shouted Daphne.

"Where on earth did you get that idea?" asked Niles.

Ronnie got up and lifted a yawning David out of his high chair, cuddling him as she spoke. "Oh, come on. Don't you remember how it was with David? You're always tired, always hungry, always sick, always either elated or crying, always forgetting... and always horny. Don't think I don't know what happened upstairs. I mean, Niles has a hair or two out of place, and that can only mean one thing."

Niles lifted a hand to his forehead.

Daphne's eyes enlarged. "Oh my God... but, we weren't trying. I mean, we were happy with... oh my God."

Niles gazed dreamily into Daphne's eyes. "No wonder you've been glowing. I'd been trying to figure out what had changed."

Daphne managed a smile through fresh tears.

"I'm gonna put this boy to bed. He played hard with Grandma today, didn't you David?" Her voice trailed off as she went upstairs.

———

_A/N: I hope I'm writing Ronnie and not Victoria Chase. I know a little Scroggs creeps into Daphne sometimes. _

_Also, for those of you who have not parented a child, pregnancy makes you dumb as a two-by-four, along with all other listed symptoms. But Daphne and Niles will make it hilarious, I hope!!_


	3. Results

Daphne paced back and forth, waiting for Niles to return after dropping David off at daycare. He had cancelled his morning appointments to accompany Daphne to the doctor. Finally he burst in.

"I am so sorry. Tommy wouldn't let me go. He just kept talking, telling me his life story."

"It's because you're a therapist."

"I don't think so."

"Oh, sure. It's like with me, people I barely know expect me to give them massages. Is Tommy one of the dads then?"

"Tommy is four years old."

"You what?"

Niles shrugged. "One day last week, he was humming something that sounded like Spring—you know, Vivaldi—and I mentioned the Four Seasons, and, well, it seems we're 'fwiends foweveh' now."

Daphne laughed and kissed her husband. "Come on. Let's go find out if I'm up the duff."

Niles grinned, biting his lip, as Daphne's musical laughter followed her through the door.

In the waiting room, Daphne sat and fidgeted while Niles paced, constantly checking his watch. Daphne nearly squealed when the nurse called her name. "I'm so nervous," she explained while the nurse took her blood pressure. "We weren't even trying to get pregnant. I mean, not that we weren't, you know, we do it plenty."

"Daphne—" Niles whispered.

"I-I mean, we were using protection, you know. We thought because of my age, we'd just have the one child. You know, David. You've seen my David? Well, he was probably much smaller when I came in for my last cervical smear."

"Daphne—"

"Oh, sorry Darling. You'll have to excuse my husband. He's a bit squeamish when it comes to women's health. Oh, I don't mean parts though. He loves those. Gets right down in there and—"

"DAPHNE!"

Daphne realised everyone was staring at her.

"Have I said too much?"

Niles managed a red-faced smile. "You've said just enough, My Love."

The nurse finished writing on Daphne's chart and rolled her eyes as she handed Daphne a plastic cup. "Take this to the bathroom so we can get a urine sample," she instructed.

Daphne took the cup, looking anxious.

"Are you all right?" asked Niles.

"I just had a wee. I forgot I was gonna have to give a sample." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she spoke.

Niles embraced her, waiting until she couldn't see his face before cracking a smile. With a straight face, he stepped back and placed his hands on her face, looking into her eyes. "It's okay, Darling. You will have to pee again, eventually."

"You're right Niles, thank you for reminding me."

As fresh tears fell, Niles moved forward to hug her, but she caught his face in her hands and kissed him passionately.

"We only need a little bit to test with, so give it a try in a few minutes. The doctor will be in soon," said the nurse, turning to go.

"Should we go get cheeseburgers after this?" Daphne asked, slipping a hand under Niles's sweater.

"It's 9:30 in the mor— of course, Darling, if that's what you want for breakfast."

"Are you sure she needs a urine test?" asked the nurse's assistant as they left the room.

"You did that thing again. With the talking," said Niles.

Daphne blushed, realising what she'd said. "Oh God. I'm sorry."

Niles smiled. "It's okay, no harm done. And nothing said that isn't true. But why are you so nervous?"

Daphne turned away, needing to move. "I don't know. It's not something I thought would happen again, and it's just hard to get my head round the idea."

"You used to say you wanted a houseful of kids, like it was for you growing up."

"That was when you first met me. I had no idea I'd have to wait eleven years from then to get started. Too bad we didn't know then what we know now." Daphne's hands slid up Niles's chest to caress his face. There was fire in her kiss, and Niles moaned as his hands moved over her body.

A cough from across the room spoiled the moment. Daphne spun round to find the doctor had entered. Niles stood behind her as she reached out to shake her hand.

"I'm Doctor Davies," said the attractive redhead.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Daphne Crane and this is my husband Niles."

Niles leant sideways and reached round Daphne to shake the doctor's hand, red-faced and grinning.

"Oh! I need a wee! Where's that cup?" Daphne stepped toward the bathroom, leaving Niles with no shield. The doctor smiled at him, and he turned purple before following Daphne.

"Did you find the cup?" he asked.

"Yes, it was just on the counter.

"Shall I come with you?"

Daphne turned to look at him. "Niles, I think I can take care of this on me own— oh..." her gaze lowered, and she realised why he was asking. She glanced toward the doctor, who was reading her chart, not paying attention. Daphne smirked at Niles and jerked her head toward the bathroom, bidding him follow.

Several minutes later, the couple emerged, stifling giggles. They composed themselves as the doctor turned around, and Daphne handed the cup to the nurse.

"Thanks. I'll ask Kathy to run this." She stepped out, and Niles and Daphne grinned at each other.

"Not long now," said Niles.

Daphne's smile faded as she wrung her hands.

"What's wrong, Darling?"

"Oh Niles... I just don't know how I feel about this. I mean, I hadn't planned on doing this again."

"But Daphne, just think— I mean, it's going to be—" Niles sighed and wrapped his arms round Daphne's waist, so their faces were quite close. "Here's what we're going to do today. We're going to get the test results, and chat with the doctor about your health. Then, we're going to go to breakfast. At a cheeseburger joint, apparently. Then we're going to talk about how the news, whatever it might be, makes us both feel. Pregnancies are nine months long for a reason. People have to get prepared, and if that's what's happening, we will be prepared as much as possible. So don't worry, okay?"

Daphne was about to kiss him as the doctor knocked and then entered. "Have a seat," she said. "I have great news. It's positive."

"You what?" said Daphne.

"You're pregnant. I'm sorry, I thought that's what you were hoping for."

Niles, nearly bursting, held back his reaction as he awaited Daphne's. He grabbed her hand, and managed an encouraging smile.

"It's just... quite unexpected. We weren't trying," Daphne explained.

"Well, I can understand, it's not a small thing, having a baby. But I've read your chart and your history from your GP, and you're in excellent health, Mrs Crane."

"That's wonderful to hear," said Niles.

"Your blood pressure is fine, your urine is clear, and you obviously take good care of yourself. I don't need to examine you today unless there's been any bleeding or discharge."

Niles winced and Daphne squeezes his hand. "No, nothing like that," she said.

"Good. Then do you have any questions or concerns?"

Daphne looked at Niles and back at the doctor. "Yes."

As the doctor waited politely for Daphne to ask a question, tears began to fall. "I have so many questions, but I don't know what they are."

Niles drew Daphne into his arms, and Dr Davies placed a reassuring hand on her knee. "Mrs Crane, I know this can be very daunting. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Why don't you go and talk and wrap your heads around this. Sleep on it, and when you're able to form questions, write them down, and I'll see you again Monday. How is that?"

"Oh, thank you, Dr Davies," said Daphne. "That's exactly what I needed."

"That's very kind of you," Niles added.

They all stood up. "Well, I've been doing this a while, and your reaction is not unique." She shook both their hands and led them out of the room. "I'll leave you with Betsy to make that appointment. Everything will be fine," she reassured them before swapping Daphne's chart for another, and going into her next appointment.

Daphne sighed heavily as she stepped outside into the fresh air and sunlight. Niles paused to look at his wife's beautiful, conflicted face. He took her hand, and they slowly walked to the car.

———

_A/N: For those who don't know, people from the North of England (I.e. Manchester) say "you what" a lot. It's one of Daphne's few colloquialisms in the show. (Sounds like, "Ya'wha'?!") _


	4. Fear

Nausea woke Daphne, and she barely made it to the toilet in time. When she returned from the en suite to wake Niles, he wasn't there. She glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly 10:00.

"I thought I heard you stirring," said Niles, who entered as Daphne dressed. "How are you feeling My Love?"

"Why did you let me sleep so late?" she snapped.

Niles looked at her. "I-I wanted you to get as much rest as you needed."

"Well, my child needs his mummy in the mornings... where is he?"

"I just put him down for a nap. He's had me up since before dawn."

"Why is the baby monitor turned off?" Daphne glared at Niles, her anger mounting.

Niles took the monitor out of her hand and switched it on. They heard David singing and talking, as he often did before settling to sleep. Daphne visibly relaxed at the sound of her son, and Niles guided her to sit with him on the bed. "Darling, do you not remember the conversation we had at 6 this morning?"

Daphne looked at Niles, and anger faded from her face. "No."

Niles chuckled and put his arm around her. "Well that explains a lot! David woke us, and I said I would get up with him, and you thanked me and asked not to be disturbed all morning."

"I did?" Daphne was shocked.

"I thought it was strange, but I figured, you're growing a human, you deserve as much rest as you can get. And it's Saturday, so I'm here to do whatever you need."

"Oh Niles!" Daphne melted into his arms. "I'm so sorry for being cross."

"It's all right, Sweetheart. We're a team. And we have to practise our teamwork before David's little sister arrives."

Daphne looked at Niles. "Do you think it will be a girl?"

Niles shrugged. "I've just always thought one of each would be nice. But I'll be tickled pink if we have another boy."

Daphne laughed, and Niles's face turned red as he grinned. "Maybe blue."

Daphne's smile faded into a sigh, and Niles rubbed her shoulder. "I'm scared too," he confessed.

"You? But you seem so... okay with all of this, as though we'd planned it!"

"I know. I've been trying to stay calm and collected for you, but maybe it's better to be honest and tell you... well, I'm a little freaked out."

"You're not just saying that?"

"I dreamed last night I ran away from home."

"Don't you dare!"

Niles laughed. "I never would! I even came back in the dream. It's just a classic sign of anxiety. But it won't get the better of me, I promise."

"It better not or I'll have to tie you to this bed!"

"Okay, but no blindfolds."

Daphne laughed before kissing her husband. "Thanks for being honest with me. It actually makes me feel better about the whole thing to know we're both a bit scared."

Niles smoothed the hair back from her face and kissed her deeply.


	5. Brover

As Daphne descended the stairs with David, Niles set the table for a family lunch.

"Yes, Sweetheart, you're doing very well," said Daphne, rolling her eyes as her son insisted on walking downstairs without any help, taking them one at a time, very slowly as he'd been told, with her trudging behind him.

Niles watched, chuckling. "There's my monster!"

"Daddy!"

Daphne couldn't help but smile as her husband scooped their son into his arms. "How was your nap?"

"Great! I want to know the surprise."

Niles's eyes were as wide as his son's when he looked at Daphne. "Is there a surprise Mummy?"

Daphne put a hand to her tummy. "Yes," she smiled, nervously.

Niles set David down in his high chair and fitted the tray, on which he had cut up fruit, cheese, and toast. "After we eat all our lunch, the surprise will be revealed!"

"Yay!"

Niles grabbed Daphne's hand, stopping her sitting down, and spoke so that David couldn't hear. "Are you sure you're ready to tell him?"

"Why, do you think we shouldn't?"

"If it were up to me, I'd shout it from the rooftop, but I know you've had... mixed feelings. I just want to make sure you know what you're about to do, because if David knows, everyone's gonna know."

Daphne looked at her son and smiled as he built a tower of grape halves. "The thing is... I do have some worries, obviously... but I know I _will_ feel okay about it eventually. And maybe telling him he's going to be a big brother will help me get my head round it."

Niles's eyes welled up as he felt a rush of love. "So... we're really doing this?"

Daphne caressed his cheek. "Oh, we were never not doing it... it's just taking me a while to get used to the idea."

"Daddy, why you crying?"

Niles wiped his eyes as Daphne released him from her embrace, and both sat down.

"When I think about how much I love you and your Mummy, it makes me very happy, and sometimes, when grownups are really happy, they cry."

"That's a little bit silly," said David.

"It's not silly at all to express emotion," Daphne said gently. "You'll understand when you're a bit older."

Niles cleared his throat. "You've eaten your lunch very well. Would you like to know what the surprise is?"

"YES!"

They both looked at Daphne, whose mouth was full of chicken salad.

"Don't talk wif you mouth full," said David, shaking a finger.

Daphne giggled as she finished her mouthful. As one hand wiped her mouth, the other went instinctively to her belly, though there wouldn't be any bump for several weeks. "You're going to be a big brother," she said.

Niles grasped her hand and they exchanged a meaningful glance. "What do you think of that, David?" he asked.

David looked confused. "I wanted a puppy," he said.

Daphne laughed, laying her head on Niles's shoulder.

"We're having another baby," Niles clarified.

David dramatically clasped both hands over his mouth, and his parents laughed. "What baby?"

Daphne furrowed her brow at Niles, hoping he understood their son's inquiry.

"Um... in Mummy's tummy," said Niles.

"How you get a baby in you tummy?" asked David.

Niles and Daphne exchanged another meaningful glance. "Um... well..." Daphne started.

"Let's talk about that later," said Niles. "The point is, in a few months, there will be a little baby, and it's going to need lots of love from a big brother. Do you think you can do that?"

"Can I have a brover like Tyler has a brover?"

"You might have a brother or a sister. We don't know yet what... _kind_ it will be," said Daphne.

David considered this a moment. "Will the baby take my toys away?"

Niles and Daphne grinned at each other. "No, David. The baby will need special baby toys, and you will need big-boy toys. When you're both big kids, you can share, but you'll always have your own things," said Niles.

"Okay, I'm in," said David.

Daphne and Niles burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" asked David.

"You are going to be an amazing big brother," Daphne said, leaning forward to kiss her boy.

———

That evening, Daphne sat on the sofa with David in her lap, cuddled close. She hummed quietly as he twirled her hair, nearly asleep. She thought about her family and how she had previously assumed it was complete, but now, everything would change. She thought about her husband and his strength, and what a fantastic dad he'd been, and would be to their new baby. She wondered how much longer David would be able to sit in her lap like that, and smiled. Finally, she sighed contentedly and kissed her sleeping son's head before carrying him upstairs.


	6. Announcement

Sunday lunch had become a Crane family tradition over the years since Martin and Ronnie had tied the knot. Roz would often make an appearance, as she had become family, as well as the sister Daphne never had. On this particular Sunday, Frasier had flown up from San Francisco to begin a week-long vacation, catching up with family and friends.

It was he who answered the door, embracing his brother, sister-in-law, and nephew.

Niles immediately began to gush. "It's so good to see you! I've got so much to catch you up on. Brian Gordon finally retired from the wine club. And Kevin, you know, Tall Kevin? He's my new squash partner. Oh, and did you hear ab—"

"Niles." Daphne grasped his hand.

"I'm sorry. It's just been a while."

"It's quite all right. Plenty of time to catch up over the next few days. Daphne, I must say, you're looking particularly radiant. I trust you're doing well?"

"Yes, thank you." Daphne fought the urge to rest her hand on her belly, not wanting to give anything away until the right moment.

"And David has gotten so tall!" Frasier turned to look at the boy, who was following Alice around the apartment.

"Yes, he takes after his mother," Niles beamed.

"Stilts Junior," added Daphne.

At that moment, Martin made his way over to greet his younger son and daughter-in-law. "David just told me if I eat all my lunch, I'll get a surprise," he said, laughing.

Niles grinned proudly. "Well... then I guess we all better eat all our lunch!"

Frasier reappeared with two glasses of wine, which he handed to Niles and Daphne before going to pour another for himself.

Daphne frowned at her glass. "I always have wine with my Sunday lunch. Won't they know something's up if I'm just drinking water?"

"We could say you're dehydrated from getting hammered last night," said Niles, taking the glass from her. "Don't worry about it. I'll get you some water... are you all right? You look pale."

"It's hot... in here," Daphne said, clutching Niles's arm.

Ronnie emerged from the kitchen and went over to greet them, and then noticed Daphne's state. "Let me take those," she said, taking the wine glasses from Niles just as Daphne leant against him. "Take her to the balcony, and I'll be right out with a glass of water. What else do you need?"

"A distraction," said Niles.

Ronnie winked at him before returning to the kitchen.

Out on the balcony, Daphne sat down, and Niles knelt in front of her. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, as the breeze dried the beads of sweat on her forehead. "I'll be all right," she said at last. "I should have vomited enough this morning."

Niles moved to sit next to her and gently stroked her hair. "You're amazing," he mused.

"Okay, yes, I'm glowing and radiant and sexy because I'm pregnant. Well, I'm not in the mood, so keep your hands to yourself Niles!"

He ignored the tone of her outburst and kept stroking her hair, as he knew how it usually relaxed her. "You're amazing because you're growing a person inside you. You're amazing because already today, your body has expended the same amount of energy as if you'd run a marathon, yet here you are, looking beautiful, and I gotta say, I'm glad you don't smell like you've just run 26 miles."

Daphne visibly fought a smile as she glanced sideways at Niles.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," said Ronnie, as she burst through the door and passed a glass of iced water to Daphne. "Man, Niles, that brother of yours can talk!"

"Yes, Dad always comments quite cheerfully on how quiet it is around here since he moved away."

"By the way, everyone is looking this way, so the distraction didn't work. And they all think you're dying of some horrible disease."

"What exactly _was_ your distraction?" Daphne asked.

"I just said you needed some air, and they started speculating as to why, and David might have mentioned you'd been sick this morning."

"All signs of pregnancy, but not cancer," said Niles.

"Well, nobody expects you to be pregnant after 40, do they? Even though you've got penty of good eggs left and the sex is better than ever," said Daphne.

Niles smiled proudly as his face went slightly purple.

"Well, you might want to clear this up sooner than later. Daphne, are you feeling better? I don't think I can keep lunch back much longer."

"Then let's eat. I'm starving," Daphne said, standing up.

As they entered the apartment, Frasier, Martin, and Roz turned toward them with grave, sympathetic expressions.

Niles slid an arm round Daphne's waist. "Everyone, our son would like to make an announcement... where is David?"

"He's with Alice... I'll find them," said Roz, looking confused as she walked toward the spare bedroom.

"This is weird," Niles whispered.

Daphne failed to stifle a laugh, which caused Niles to giggle.

"Daphne... um, wouldn't you like to sit down?" asked Frasier.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," she smiled.

"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say I admire your strength and courage. And we'll be with you every step of the way. I'll fly up every weekend if I can do anything to make your burden any lighter. As the great Scottish poet Robert Burns once wrote—"

Niles buried his face in Daphne's shoulder, unable to contain his laughter. Daphne was fighting it so hard that tears ran down her cheeks.

Frasier stepped closer and placed a hand on both their shoulders. "Oh, no, I've upset you. Come on, we'll get through this together. We are Cranes after all. We're going to make the best of the time that's left."

Daphne could no longer hold it in. She burst into laughter right in Frasier's face.

Roz emerged from the bedroom bawling, the children following her.

Frasier stepped back, looking bewildered.

Niles got hold of himself and motioned for David to join him. He lifted the boy in his arms. "Everyone, please don't be sad. We have some very happy news."

"Go on, you can tell now," said Daphne.

"I'm getting a big brover!"

Silence filled the room, followed by Roz's sobbing. "Oh Daphne, your so brave, adopting a son while you're going through this... terrible time!"

"Yes, what exactly _are _you going through, Daphne?" asked Frasier.

"Fras, what kind of a question is that? Niles, Daphne, I think adoption is a wonderful thing, but are you sure you've really thought this through?" asked Martin.

Daphne beamed. "What David meant to say is that he's going to _be _a big brother."

Silence.

"Oh God, do I have to spell it out for you people? I'm not dying, I'm pregnant!"

Martin, Roz, and Frasier exchanged glances as the news sunk in. Roz broke the silence with a squeal, running toward her best friend and enveloping her. "Congratulations! Oh my God, I'm so relieved! And so excited!"

"Congratulations!" said Martin and Frasier at the same time before taking turns hugging Daphne and Niles.

"I think this calls for a toast," said Frasier. "I believe it was Kierkegaard who said—"

"Lunch is served," Ronnie interrupted.

As everyone made their way to the table, Martin patted Frasier's shoulder. "Good try, Son."

Frasier rolled his eyes and joined his family at the lunch table.

—

_A/N: I can't picture Martin and Ronnie living anywhere other than Frasier's apartment, so in my mind, he signed over the lease to them when he moved away. Makes things a bit simpler!_


End file.
